Baby Steps
/I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. - John 15:12
I often notice that about every 5 years in my life I can look back and say, “Wow, if you’d told me 5 years ago that I’d be ______ I would not have believed it!”
Well, if you’d told me a mere year and a half ago that the entire world would soon struggle with a pandemic that would kill millions of people, interrupt the world economy, disrupt our community and close our church building, and that we would worship on an online meeting platform called Zoom for over a year, well, I wouldn’t have believed you. I wouldn’t have believed that this Pentecost would be the first time our congregation would gather together in person in over a year and that we’d need to reserve a city park so we could meet outdoors rain or shine. No, I wouldn’t believe all that. Or - I guess I wouldn’t have wanted to believe it, at any rate. It’s been quite a year.
I’m kind of glad I don’t have a crystal ball, aren’t you? Life is full of challenges that you have no way to get ready for - things you just need to get through one baby step at a time. I remember when my oldest son, now 32, was just 3 years old, I was a single mom, worked 5 different part time jobs, and commuted from Portsmouth to Boston for my first year of seminary - all at the same time. How on earth did I do that?? And if you’d told me in advance I was going to have to do that to get my education, I would have had a heart attack on that very spot.
As he leaves the earth on ascension day, Jesus has so much to tell his disciples. So much is ahead of them. There’s so much more they could learn about God and about their call from him. So much was going to happen to them and around them in their place and time. But he knows it’s too much for them to hear it all. “I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now.” What a mercy that he didn’t give them every detail of their own continuing ministries, lives, challenges and deaths. He knew that what they needed was not a data dump as his hand was on the doorknob to go. What they needed was trust - trust in his continuing love and help.
So what a gift it was to be promised the Holy Spirit, who would remain with them - and remains with us to this day - serving as a guide in times of trouble or confusion. What a gift to have the Spirit in our lives and in our hearts! She arrived on Pentecost like a rush of wind in flames of fire, and the disciples were assured that the power of God in Christ was still at work among them, as it still is today.
In times of change like these, it’s tempting to think that if we just got all the facts - all the data - we’d be able not only to handle everyting, but also to somehow use the data to make things work out the way we want them to. But we know that’s not how it works. Life is a series of discernments, both large and small, and we can only see as far ahead as the next turn in the road. Thank God for the Holy Spirit, who guides us and supports us and shows us Jesus’ way.
