Conversion

You will do well to be attentive to this as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts. -1 Peter 1:19

Peter’s letter offers a first person account of his experience of the transfiguration on the mountaintop. He says that this dramatic experience confirmed in his heart that Jesus was the Christ. And then he says to his readers that they ought to take his words to heart, like a lamp shining in a dark place, until the morning star rises in their hearts, also.

Maybe you’ve experienced a rather dramatic moment - or more - of ‘seeing the light’ in life. Or, to use a modern meme, maybe you’ve had your share of ‘Wow - I could have had a V8!” moments. But not everyone gets dramatic white light experience in their faith, and that is ok. When we read about Paul’s spectacular experience with Christ on the road to Damascus, or Moses’ life changing experience on the Mount of Sinai, we might feel that unless we, too, experience such a sensational and sudden revelation, we’re somehow not spiritually adequate. And some Christian traditions even seem to imply that conversion happens in a moment of blinding revelation which somehow saves us for all time.

As Episcopalians, we tend to look toward the wise teaching of St. Benedict on this topic, who was the founder of the first communal monastery over 1500 years ago. Benedict taught that our continual leaps of faith in life are usually not all that steep. Rather, we are always deepening into faith whenever we continue to lean into a life of prayer and listening for God each day, discovering tiny signs of God’s love and presence here and there amid the mundane tasks of daily life. Benedict taught that deep faith most often develops slowly over time, in an ongoing “conversion of life.” Indeed, Benedictine monks today still take Conversion of Life as one of their three religious vows, along with obedience and stability. Benedict taught that there is never a point of fully “arriving” in faith, but rather, we are constantly arriving more and more each day, and can always lean in a little deeper, no matter how deep our faith has already become.

Conversion of life means that we give out lives over to the care of God one tiny, undramatic step at a time, often in ways so small they are imperceptible to us. We only notice our growing faith by the small changes we are suddenly able to make. Like, for example, the moment you decided to take a breath and pray for the person in the speeding ambulance instead of ignoring the siren. The moment you stopped to really listen to a child, heart to heart. The moment you decided to read a snippet of Scripture each day. The moment you started keeping a real list of people to pray for regularly. The moment you decided to give more of your money away to the poor. The moment you were able to accept something you’d been having a hard time accepting. All small but profound leaps of faith that add up over time.

Our faith is not like a light switch that one day suddenly gets flipped to a permanent ON position. Like everything else, our faith waxes and wanes, but hopefully, over time, if we put it on a graph, we’d see a continual growth toward God in our hearts. Certainly there are some days - or some seasons - that seem quite stagnant, and that’s where sticking to our spiritual disciplines and prayer come in. We can keep making little movements toward Christ each day, even if they are the opposite of dramatic. Our mere desire to be with God is what God can use to work a continuing path of conversion within us, making us more and more ready to take more significant leaps of faith when they present themselves throughout our lives.

May you be filled with transfiguration today and every day!

Our readings for the last Sunday of Epiphany, Transfiguration Sunday are HERE